Why Nobody Likes You

It’s frustrating when you work so hard to write interesting blogs and updates to your social media sites and no one responds by “liking” your Facebook page or retweeting your posts.

Nobody Likes You

Why don't people like you?

The content that you thought should get a bunch of comments and “likes” land with a thud.

Possibly you expected the search engines to send you a bunch of traffic because you optimized the post with all the right key words and it’s a subject that’s been in the news.

So maybe you should ask yourself this question.

Do You Like Other People?

Be honest and ask yourself: “Have I thanked the people who have commented on my posts?” Only you know the answer to that question. How often do you “like” other people’s posts and retweet their content?

In other words, have you built relationships with other bloggers and influencers in your niche? Do you thank people who comment on your posts and respond to each one?

Surprisingly, many bloggers don’t respond to comments. Nor do they think to reciprocate by visiting someone who comments on their blog and leaving a comment on one of their posts.

Eventually, people who subscribe to your blog or visitors who have left comments that went unanswered will soon drop off your radar screen. They won’t “like” you or spread your content. If they’ve bought from you once, they are not likely to buy from you again.

Building Relationships

Danny Iny co-founder of Firepole Marketing, in his new Naked Marketing Manifesto, says, “… marketing is about creating long-term relationships that satisfy both parties over and over again.”  He’s right, of course.

Every relationship begins with the first transaction. Let me give you two personal examples.

I recently received an email from a blogger who proposed a guest post for my site. He didn’t say what he would be writing about so I asked him to drop me another note with his ideas.

Instead, a few days later I received a poorly written complete blog post. He ended his cover note with these words, “Expect a response from you.” Huh! Is this how to start a relationship? I think you can guess how I answered.

Loving My Business Cards

Here is an example of how the company that printed my new business cards provided me with exemplary service.  My designer recommended that I use printingforless.com. He had used them before and they do excellent work at reasonable prices.

Customer service, customer service rep

printingforless.com customer service rep

The company is located in Montana and I had a couple of questions about uploading my file so I gave them a call. The phone rep couldn’t have been nicer. She took me through the process and assured me they had received my order.

The next day I received a phone call from the printing department to tell me that the colors I was seeing on my computer screen would not exactly match the cards. They are two different media.

Instead, my cards would print slightly darker and if that wasn’t acceptable I could ask my designer to lighten the color palette. I actually liked the idea of slightly darker cards and told him to go ahead.

Within a couple of days I received my business cards and couldn’t have been happier. The next day, I received a phone call from the company’s customer service rep. How did I like my cards? Was everything OK? That was impressive.

Then, the following week, I received a coffee mug in the mail with a thanks for my business. As you might expect, I’ve recommended the company to a number of colleagues.

Lessons Learned

My experience with the printing company was a tangible demonstration of the power of customer service and a “thank you.” We can all learn from it and apply it to our own businesses. Let’s examine why I had such a good experience:

  • You can find what you need. The landing page of their website lists every conceivable printing job you might want to order, alphabetically, on the bottom of the page.
  • You can call them. The phone number with an image of a friendly telephone rep is prominently displayed above the fold. The number is repeated in their rotating header. Have you ever noticed how difficult it is on many websites to find a number to call when you want to order something or have a complaint? Too many companies send you to their customer forum, which is like visiting a black hole.
  • They discuss your needs.  Printingforless.com didn’t simply print my cards, ship them, and then tell me it was my problem the cards printed darker. They called me to discuss what I really wanted.
  • They follow up.  Within a day of receiving my order, I received a call to be sure I was satisfied and to ask if I had any other printing needs. Good customer service combined with a gentle sales call.
  • They say “thank you.” The customer service rep thanked me on the phone but then I received a tangible thank-you when the coffee mug arrived. All this for an order totaling under $100.

How to Be Liked

"Danny Iny Firepole Marketing Naked Marketing Manifesto"

Danny Iny

The key to being liked is to give more than is expected of you. Another way of saying it is that you have to give to get. This leads to mutually beneficial relationships. As Danny Iny says in his Naked Marketing Manifesto, “Naked Marketing isn’t about one night stands.”

Steps you can take:

  • Comment on other bloggers’ posts. Spread the content of your customers, prospects and influencers in your niche. Let them know you have, in case they’re too busy to notice.
  • Invite guest posts. Ask your clients to write a post for your blog that will showcase them and their company.
  • Make introductions.  Connect your clients and friends to people they want to meet and don’t already know. Don’t expect anything in return, although it’s likely they will try to reciprocate.
  • Provide extra service. When you’re finished with a client project, give them some extras. Send them tips from time to time to improve their business and don’t charge for it. It will make you feel good and you never know when they might have another project for you.

I began writing this post by giving reasons why it’s possible nobody likes you. It was a play on words, of course, referring to the Facebook “like” button.

The overarching point of this post is that you need to “like” people first. That is, you need to “pay it forward” by giving more than is expected of you – on social media, for friends, and serving clients.

It helps to build lasting relationships, but it’s also the polite thing to do.

What things do you do to be more “likeable”? Please share your stories in the comment box. Thank you.

Leave a Reply


  1. Jeannette,

    Great ideas!

    I also believe in promoting people who others would see as my competition. I have built so many great relationships with people who do what I do, but because I love their work, I host teleclasses, events and blab about them to others. A few marketing folks think I’m crazy, but I believe that there is plenty of business for all of us, and that we all need help at times.

    As always, thank you for continuing to write such valuable content. It is really great stuff!


    • Thanks, Bea. I can personally attest to how much you help others as I’ve been on the receiving end of your generosity more than once. You’re not crazy to promote people who may be your competition. Some day one could become your collaborator and what a great team you would be!

  2. Jeannette, one of the things I often do is after connecting with someone online, I either make an invitation to either Skype or telephone talk. For me and my introvert nature, this is an easy way to get to know someone a bit better to discover if there is something I might do to help the other person.

    I’ve had many people tell me I have a go-giver attitude and act that way.

    It’s usually served me and the other people well.

    Thanks for a great idea.


    • Patricia — I’m pleased to let everyone know that you and met through LinkedIn. As a result or your reaching out, we created the piece on “Repairing the Elevator Speech,” which my subscribers receive. I think we both went the extra mile on that project — and it was fun, too!

  3. I am totally digging this post. While most of this is stuff I already do, the part about “going the extra mile” really sunk in deep with me. Thanks for giving some ideas of how we can go that extra mile.

    • Bethany — Sometimes going that “extra mile” is no more than sending an article that will be of interest to your client. Or, it could be an extra re-write. I’m glad you enjoyed the ideas.

  4. Jan –
    Great information! Guess we’ll have to look at bringing you on board as a consultant.

    • Well, Richard, I’m always available for consulting assignments! Glad the information was helpful.

    • Amy — and I like you, too! For my other readers, Amy and I collaborate and help each other all the time. So, thanks in public, Amy.

  5. It’s taken me a while to find a solid list of blogs to follow. When I started, I decided to focus on teaching, writing, and traveling as part of the same blog. My main focus lies on the road to self-publishing, but I sometimes wonder if including all three has been the wisest choice. I post five days a week as a way to get myself back into a writing groove after a long writing drought. Comments are sometimes reciprocated, but can be hit and miss in garnering regular readers. The most helpful tool for me by far has been twitter. I’m always amazed how gracious my favorite tweeps are. Like anything in life, I guess it’s best to pick a few folks who are doing something well and try to emulate their approach while also figuring out what makes you unique.

    • Jeri — first, I admire you for posting five times a week. That’s a major commitment. I’m glad that you have established a community on twitter who help each other. That’s what it’s all about. Give and you shall receive!

  6. Hi Jeannette,

    Good tips and I called it the corner store approach. When store owners knew their customers so well, they would recommend or give them samples of something new or even just carry the goods to the car for those who were elderly.

    When you think about it businesses relationships are very similar to personal ones and remembering the golden rule.

    • Susan – love the analogy of the corner store. We all remember those days when store owners knew the names of their customers. Those days are mostly gone. But interestingly, I frequent my local corner diner a lot and I like it when the waitresses recognize me. Makes me feel at home.

  7. Hi, I “like” how you summed up this blog post with the four key points. While I do not always respond to comments on my blog, I always visit their blog and reciprocate. I also provide links to other blogs. I have done this for my tax blog – where I provide links in the side bar to other tax bloggers and on my personal blog, where I provide links to other bloggers who write about life in general. It does help interacting with other bloggers, you also learn a lot through give and take.

    • Lubna — you are very generous in providing links in your side bar to other tax bloggers and to bloggers who write about life. You make my point that you need to give that little extra to be liked and build relationships. I’m sure those bloggers are very grateful for the recognition.

  8. Agree with you Jeannette.

    In the blogging world we build up relationships with other bloggers. Sherryl, Susan, you and I are good examples of bloggers who cooperate. In fact I think we could say we have built lasting relationships by becoming online friends. Isn’t that amazing considering that we haven’t even met.

    • Catarina – I truly value the relationships with you, Sherryl, Susan that we’ve developed since meeting on LinkedIn (shows that social media works). We stretch from the U.S. to the Middle East to Australia and I feel I know you all as friends even, as you point, we’ve never met in person. Maybe it’s time for a Skype or Google+ Hangout conversation!

  9. Glynis — so glad that you found the post helpful. I bet you could provide more value with the services you already offer.

  10. Excellent post, Jeannette! I love the play on words. Life is about relationships. In today’s busy world it is more important than ever that we take the time to slow down, acknowledge one another, congratulate successes … even those you may consider “competitors,” and build community. After all, this is what social media is about, building community.

    Keep writing and keep sharing!


    • Peg – yes, life is all about relationships. Many of the people commenting on this post are relationships I have established on social media. They are just as important as personal relationships.

  11. Your post is very timely. I decided to pull back on all that do to get some persecutive, develop a road map for how I want to go forward and the outcome I wish to achieve. I have been struggling with how to improve what I do with promoting my blog. I do some of the things you mentioned but not all. This will help me in my future plans. Thank you for that.

    • Susan — it sounds like you’re doing a wise thing. Somethings we keep going like the Energizer Bunny but we may not be getting where want to be. Good luck in figuring it all out!

  12. It really is all about relationships and building them with like minded people. You need to be a friend to have a friend. Those who are just ‘takers’ will fall by the wayside. Great post!

    • Cheryl — I like using the term friend — friendship, when you get down to it, is at the heart of relationships.

  13. What a great post Jeannette! Wonderful suggestions, especially helpful to me as I believe strongly in great “customer service,” but have been a bit at sea when it comes to translating that into action in the social media world. The digital world is full of challenges, but people like you (and Bea Fields I might add) are helping to teach us how to bring the human touch to what could easily add to a greater disconnect from not only each other, but also from ourselves!

    Thank you!

    • Karen — thanks for your kind words. The digital world is a challenge because we lose the important element of face-to-face engagement. However, it is possible to offer exemplary customer service online if companies choose to do so by enabling customers to call them directly and responding to their concerns in a timely manner. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Just this week I was directly to a company’s website for a refund and the contact box didn’t work. I received the message to try again. Not helpful.

  14. Jeannette, you obviously practice what you preach! What a lot of great comments to your blog post. It was nice to see my friend Bea Field posted a comment. I appreciate your comments and will be following to see what else you have to say. You are an easy read and have many great ideas!

    • Jack – thanks so much for the compliment! I’m obviously pleased that you want to continue reading my posts. Speaking of Bea Fields, she was my blogging coach and she is terrific!

  15. This is a wonderful post Jeannette. I found myself nodding my head in agreement and smiling while I was reading it. I have always maintained that the Internet is our virtual “storefront” and that most of what we’ve learned in the brick-and-mortar world can be transferred here. You’re so right about people liking us. We like each other online for the the same reasons that we like each other in person. We connect with people who help us even if it’s just letting us vent in an email. If anything, it’s more difficult to come across as genuine online because we miss those subtle cues that we get face to face. I think that’s why when we do connect with people online, our friendships feel so genuine. As Catarina and you both have mentioned, we feel as though we’ve met although we haven’t.

    • Sherryl — I do believe, as you do, that online relationships can be just as genuine as your personal relationships. You need to nurture them and it’s more work because you don’t have that frequent personal interaction. I’m sure glad I met all my online blogging buddies!

  16. Great info Jeannette! Recently came across your site through another blogger (and am happy I did). Think it is important to see how the little things (commenting, thanking, following up, etc.) really can go a long way. It helps you be successful at building relationships & create loyalty among your audience/consumer base.

    As Sherryl pointed out, these same principles when applied to a traditional brick and mortar can be very effective. Helping you set yourself apart from your competitors and ultimately providing excellent customer care in the process. Thanks for sharing!

  17. Hi Jeannette,
    I found your blog through Danny Iny’s Naked Marketing and I am so glad I did. This article is so timely for me. Making connections has been my shortcoming and it has showed up in my blog growth. Since dedicating 2012 to fearless action, I have been taking strides to make myself known. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂

    • Lisa – I’m so glad that Danny Iny helped us to connect. I just read your post about being fearless and finding your passion. Really resonated with me. So thank you, too.

  18. Christina – thanks for considering me your mentor. I’m pleased and humbled. Your joy is infectious — I can feel it, even online. You are so right, The virtual life is awesome.